It’s not me, it’s you…😁

So, humm, I’m still not sure if this one is a good or a bad idea. It’s a very personal topic, but I suppose my blog is quite personal,really. So here goes… P.S. I’d rather you don’t bring up this post up during face-to-face conversation with me if we’re not really close… it could get really awkward really fast. Lol. Happy reading. ❤️

So, em, for this post I was gonna write about heart-break, as cliché and sappy as that is.

Firstly, I’d like to point out that I’m young and naive. I’m still pretty dumb and I feel I’m quite an uncool, nervous wreck that laughs a LOT at duck jokes. 🐣 I believe right now that, I know what being heart-broken feels like. Maybe, quite possibly though, I don’t have any idea and life still has to come along and f*#k me right up before I find out. Who knows?

What I do know is that whatever I’ve felt before hurts. It hurts a lot. I’ve been told by many ‘wise’ adults that falling in love, whatever that really is, at my age, 19; feels like the end of the world. I hope that falling so hard for someone too fast is just a phase and that I’ll grow out of it? ‘Cause, whoever gave me that little insight, is totally right. As much as it pains me to admit this publicly, it absolutely does feel like the end of the world.

Nothing, not the tears, ice-cream, long-runs, chocolate, best friend night-time calls for hours, heartbreak movies and music, nothing helps to forget the sadness. That horrible, uncomfortable, sad feeling in the pit of your stomach is just dulled for a while. It’s still there, though! For what seems like an eterrnity, it stays.

I am totally aware, and absolutely appreciate the matter that there is so much other tough things being faced by so, so many people around the world. I understand that in compared to what someone else might be going through, your ‘heart-break’ may seem trivial. Don’t think this way, please? I am a strong believer that, everyone is facing some kind of battle in their lives and everyone’s pain is just as relevant. ‘Heart-break’ hurts!

  • Just to note: I’m putting ‘Heart-break’ into inverted commas, ’cause I think it’s a word that means a lot of different things to a lot of different people and everyone conceptualizes the definition differently.

“Telling me that I can’t be sad because someone else has it worse is the same as telling me that I can’t be happy because someone else has it better.”

I’m not really sure if there is a cure to ‘heart-break’- except for time. Like I said, I’m not even entirely sure what I’ve gone through is the extent of the ‘heart-break’ that I will inevitably feel as I get older. I’m not really sure of a lot of things except that I hope it doesn’t get much worse!

All I know is that the sun always reappears eventually and almost everything seems a little brighter in the morning after a good night’s sleep and lastly, a questionable ‘glass’ of wine is never a bad idea. 💛

Quite some time back I was feeling quite sorry for myself, cuddled in jammies, in bed with my teddy, trawling the internet for ‘heart-break’ remedies and I stumbled upon this letter to some bodies’ ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend. It wasn’t exactly relevant but I just loved it and the underlying hurt and anger that this (presumable) girl felt provided some comfort. Just knowing that I wasn’t the only person feeling a bit shit. (As so unbelievably self-centred as that sounds!) 😑

Enjoy dwelling on the feelings of hatred, sadness and rage for a minute… ❤️❤️❤️😉 :

I know why you fell for him. His eagerness to share everything about his childhood, his family, his fears, his aspirations. He didn’t play games with you. He texted you when he was free and he let you know when he was busy.He sat with you forehead to forehead telling you that he’s over “playing around” and that all he wants is to fall in love—with you. He swears he’s never felt the way he does now. But what you don’t know yet is that he’s into playing around with your heart.
He’s good at making you feel special. He’s amazing at drawing you in. But this is what he does. His passions are tidal waves that take him over. He won’t think about anything else other than what he’s focused on at that moment in time. And right now you’re it. You’re his obsession. He doesn’t think about anything that isn’t you and you feel chosen, you feel special, you feel unique, and you feel loved in a way you didn’t know was possible.
It doesn’t last. He can’t focus his attention on you forever. He’ll move on to something new, and he won’t kick you out of his life, but you’ll start to wonder what you did wrong. You’ll wonder if it’s just your relationship calming down, or if he’s starting to forget how brilliantly he used to believe you shined.
Don’t let it hurt you. Don’t let it deter you.
He probably still loves you. When he commits to something he sees it through until the bitter end. He loves passionately. But when he stops prioritizing you, you’ll have to figure out if he’s all that you thought he was.
Here’s what you deserve: His attention. His affection. His time. His patience. His support.
Here’s what you don’t deserve: A relationship maintained through text messages. His uncertainty of whether he has time to see you. His anxiety upon “having” to plan dates with you. Having conversations consistently turned away from you to focus back on him.
You deserve more than the man I used to know. And I hope that you not only know that, but that you don’t need to know that, because that man doesn’t exist anymore.
I can’t say that I was thrilled when I learned he was seeing someone new, but I can say that I sincerely hope you’re the one for him. I hope you teach him how to love you consistently, and appropriately. I hope that when he tells you he loves you, he actually believes it. I hope he doesn’t bring tears to your eyes regularly, and I hope you make him smile that wide, unbelievably genuine smile that I will always remember in the back of my mind.
And, if it turns out that you two are not meant to be, I hope you aren’t broken by him. There will be others who prove themselves to be worthy of your love. He might need more time to figure out exactly what he wants, to learn how to balance his passions, and to realize that the word “love” should not be so easily given and taken. It won’t be your fault if he hasn’t figured this out yet.
Take care of him because he might be worth it. Take care of yourself because you definitely are.  

-I think I’ll always hate you just a little though. Good luck hun.  Much love, actually, not that much love,

Kimbo. xxx

While, I’m not even sure anything that I’ve just written is relevant to anybody reading this, I hope it is because otherwise, this is just really, really embarrassing. If it is even somewhat relevant, I’m sorry and I hope things work out for the best, either way. Although I don’t think  I have advice worth even listening to, the one thing that I 100% believe is; that happiness is the best form of revenge! Better yourself, For you though. Nobody else. ❤️

If none of this is relevant, I would appreciate if you don’t judge me for how weird I am and still love me unconditionally…?  😁😂❤️🙊

The expected thing for me to say now is: “Don’t worry, there are still plenty of fish in the sea.” However, I think that there is little that is much less comforting than this statement. Being an avid Disney fan an’ all , Instead, I will rather advise you to ‘Just keep swimming.’  💧 🐟  🐠  🐋  🐳  🐬  🐙  🐡  🐚  🐢

So for now, Just keep swimming  ❤️ and of course,

Smile Always,

Kim. X 🌼

IMG_8728.JPG

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s