Everything feels brighter in the morning!✨🌻☀️🌞

World Mental Health Day 2016. 🌸 (Monday 10th October) 

I think that World Mental Health Day (WMHD) is such an important and great idea. While it doesn’t actively change the position that someone suffering from metal health difficulties is in, it gets people talking and like I say all the time, I 100% believe that talking is 🔑! 

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 In the context of WMHD, it is imperative to talk in order to play a part in stamping out the stigma surrounding mental health. Although not easy, it is absolutely possible to manage and overcome mental illness’ like Depression and Anxiety, but only with the right help and support. If people feel ashamed, embarrassed or stigmatised in any way by their mental health issues they are far less likely to ask for help. This is a serious problem! People think nothing of going to the doctor for a cold, broken leg or a stomach bug. When any other part of your body breaks down it is totally acceptable to seek medical attention, so why does what’s going on in our brains have to be a big deal? This just makes me frustrated! 😡

No one deserves to struggle with what’s going on in their minds by themselves. No one deserves to suffer in silence. No one deserves to battle long-term, needlessly, because of small-minded people and total ignorance. 

It was really comforting to see how many posted positive messages on social media about WMHD on Monday. It was reassuring to know that whatever I’m going through, that I’m not on my own. It was encouraging to know that people are not judging me when I have bad days or am feeling a bit anxious. It was just so good to be reminded that if I’m in college, or on the train, or in any busy place with lots of people and I have a panic attack, that not only will people treat me with kindness and respect, that they won’t think any less of me. In fact, the chances are that there will be someone in the situation who has experienced a panic attack before too. ❤️ 

It just provided me, and I have no doubt, so, so many other people, with a really positive message. A message that told me that Mental Health difficulties are so common. That there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of and that it is absolutely okay not to feel okay! 💛                                                                                                                                                            I dont think that asking for help is ever going to be an easy thing to do. I do think though that if little 13 year-old Kimbo, who was extremely confused and scared and had no idea what was wrong with her had seen all the posts and messages that 20 year-old Kimbo saw on Monday, it would have made me much more confident and less frightened. I think it would have encouraged me to ask for help a lot sooner than I did and maybe things wouldn’t have gotten anywhere near as bad! This makes me happy. I’m happy that today’s kids and young adults are getting to grow up in a generation that is much more accepting. I’m happy that if the little kids on my road, or the children I babysit ever find themselves feeling not okay, that they will be provided with whatever help they need, as soon as the problem occurs because they won’t need to think twice about asking for help. Finally, while obviously I hope that they never  do, I hope that if the future generations of young people do ever find themselves in this kind of situation, that they won’t question themselves about weather or not they will have to keep their struggles a secret. Because the fact that I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone, as so many other people did, and still do is nothing less than ridiculous!

I’m in a really great place right now, the best place I’ve been in for a long time. If I got so much encouragement from everyone speaking out on WMHD, I can only imagine how much it must mean  to those who are not in such a great place right now. A Social Media post seems like such a small, insignificant thing, but it really does make such a huge difference! 💪🏼🔑                                     

In the context of personal struggles, I still insist that talking is 🔑! Definitely one of the 🔑s anyway. I HATE when people say : “But talking doesn’t change anything?”  THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Talking changes everything. Everything always seems a million times worse when you try to deal with whatever you’re going through on your own. Your brain thinks up possible scenarios about how the situation will end and always focus’ on the worst possible outcome, which in reality will probably never happen. You can take my word for this, I have tried and tested this theory so many times and not one single time has keeping things to myself ended without me having some kind of breakdown. Even if it was over the smallest thing and could totally have been avoided! When you keep things to yourself, they don’t go away. They build up and up and up. Until you’re left feeling so overwhelmed that you snap. 

Although talking may not physically do anything to help whatever situation you’re in, it will without a doubt help you to get through whatever it is that you’re going through. Often people can have really good advice that you won’t have previously considered.  Even if it’s just helping you to realise that this awful situation which your brain has decided is definitely going to happen is totally over thought, and that in reality it will not come to be true. I repeat: Talking is 🔑

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If you’re struggling right now and you’re reading this, I would first like to tell you that it is okay and that you are not alone!  I understand how hard it is to ask for help. I know that you’re probably terrified. I know because I’ve been through it, and i’m not going to lie, admitting that I wasn’t okay was definitely one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. It was however, also one of the best and most important decisions that I have ever made! Admitting that I wasn’t okay literally changed my life. I really can’t emphasise enough how important telling somebody that you’re not doing well is! 

I’m not going to tell you that everything is going to be just dandy, because I know that’s not what you want to hear. I will tell you though, not to give up hope because even if it doesn’t feel like it, there is always hope! ❤️ I’m also going to tell you that no matter what anyone else is telling you, or what your brain is telling you, YOU ARE WORTH IT! Your happiness is worth fighting for so do not stop fighting to get that back! If you work hard enough and get the right help and support, you can and will be happy again, so please please don’t ever give up! 

You are strong enough to defeat whatever monsters are in your head right now. Take it day by day or minute by minute if needs be. Keep breathing. Reach out! There is always, always someone ready and willing to listen. Even if you are scared! Look at it this way, nothing can be worse than feeling like you do now. If I could do it, you can too! ❤️                                              

  -Your feelings are real and they are valid and they are nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Please don’t forget this! 

I think for my next post I’ll do something about how I got through some of the tougher times and some things that I found really helped me. But for now I’ll leave you with one of the best things anyone has ever said to me: 

❤️ ‘Remember, you are not going to feel like this forever. You know what it feels like to be happy. Just get through this rough patch and you’ll get that back! Happiness feels a lot better when you’ve had to fight for it. Just don’t give in. It’ll be okay, I promise you!’ ❤️

Lots and lots of love and hugs to anyone who needs them. Don’t worry, it’s almost Friday! 

Smile always,

Kim. X 🍄

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Clumsy, embarrassing little old me.🙋🏽

So, it’s been ages since the last post. My laptop was broken for a while which is ironic because this post is related to all the dumb and embarrassing things that I’ve done, which includes breaking my laptop. 😁 I totally took advantage of the broken laptop excuse though, when in fact, summer just made me lazy. 🌞 That’s okay though because summer is over and Kimbo is back in action. 💪🏼

I had a really embarrassing weekend during the summer – totally self-inflicted, of course.🍻 But now, I’m just kinda laughing at myself. I think that’s the only way to deal with these situations. To laugh. Sure, if you’ve seen me at my worst it can only get better…right? 😂 I’m still not over it quite enough to discuss what happened on the internet but I suppose what happened is now just history to everyone else, and almost to me. 😁😂😩

I am 100% one of the clumsiest people I know. When people describe me the word ‘gobshite’ is almost always used or at least implied. I say really stupid things, embarrass myself daily and fall over A LOT. It’s all part of being me.

Of course, my anxiety doesn’t help matters. I am permanently internally freaking out about something and when I’m nervous, I tend to forget most of my English and/or panic and do stupid things which often leads to tripping over my own feet at some point. Which leads to more anxiety. It’s a never-ending, dignity destroying, ugly circle. I however, think that although my anxiety and over thinking definitely aids my clumsiness, I generally just don’t pay enough attention to what I’m doing. Ever.

I’m a total believer as cliché as it may sound that, I am young and now is my time to do stupid things and make lots and lots of mistakes. It’s so true that you learn so much more from the things that go wrong than from those that go right. Life has been full of a whole lot more adventure since realising this and I just seem to be having so much fun and embarrassing myself endlessly along the way.

Going back to my embarrassing weekend – I was seriously cringing about it all until I went for a few drinks with some of my friends. Coincidentally we all began reminiscing on our drunken nights that have ended in some disastrous incident or other. People began telling stories that seemed worse or just as bad as my stories and it just kinda hit me that it really does happens to everyone. It seems my friends are all disasters and I am not the only one! This made me feel a ridiculous amount better.

I’ve set a number of small goals for myself this year in college, and I’m going to try very hard to stick to them:

  1. Bring the blog back!☑️
  2. Join some new college clubs and societies. Get really involved in them and make lots of new friends! ☑️
  3. Get more involved in college and have an even more amazing year than last! ☑️
  4. STOP LEAVING ALL MY WORK UNTIL LAST MINUTE!!☑️
  5. Carry on learning how to manage my anxiety.☑️
  6. Stay healthy and above all, happy.☑️
  7. Put myself first, always.(In a reasonable way, obviously!)☑️
  8. Keep slowly but surely learning to love myself in my entirety – clumsiness and all.☑️

(The ticks beside all my goals don’t mean they’re competed. I just felt like it was a good place for a few emojis. 😂)

This year of college is going really well. I’m in the best place I’ve been in for a very long time and I’m mostly doing well with my goals so far. My embarrassing incidents have been as prominent as ever but that’s okay! Like I said before, I don’t think I’d quite be myself without them. As for managing my anxiety, I’m definitely improving. I’m just trying to take things day by day. Baby step by baby step.

I think that if the particular embarrassing weekend in question had happened a few months before it did, I wouldn’t have been able to laugh it off quite so easily. A lot of things that have happened in the last couple of months and more recently,even, that I don’t think I would have coped with half as well had they happened say earlier on in the year. For this I am immensely proud of myself. I have really worked very hard on myself – attempting to become a much stronger, happier, overall better person and I am definitely beginning to see the rewards. I’m nowhere near where I want to be yet, but I am absolutely on my way!

For now I intend to keep working hard, having lots of fun, laughing and finally learning about myself and my capabilities. Also sticking with the blog (which I really like doing!)

Hope everyone’s having a great week! ❤️

As always,

Never stop smiling, (couldn’t say always again😁)

Kim. X img_1678