So I’m well and truly home now and life is beginning to get back to normal. It’s been weird. I guess it’s a side they don’t really tell you about travelling. I went from being happy and tired all the time, care free, having the most wonderful adventure to back to normal life.
The first few days were great; I saw and caught up with everyone. I was kept busy. But now things have settled down and since uni hasn’t started back there’s not much routine. I’m kinda bored and my mind is in over drive simultaneously missing camp- all the people, the weather, the fun, and dreaming of my next adventure. I miss the excitement of not knowing what’s next. I miss not having real adult worries.
I’m so happy to have been able to see everyone and get all my hugs ❤ but now I’m ready to run away again and see the world.
I’ve kind of come back from America with a new perspective on everything. I’ve had a taste of what being so happy all the time feels like, and now that’s what I’m determined to work for. In every aspect of my life. Not that I wasn’t happy before hand, I absolutely was! I’ve just woken up to the idea that there’s a whole world out there that’s so different to my little Dunboyne. I feel so ready to just kill it this college year and really start working towards all my goals and dreams. Also, I am totally aware of how cheesy all this sounds!
My anxiety has definitely gotten better. I’ve found myself really starting to recognise when I begin to get anxious, so that I can question myself as to why I’m anxious, take a few moments and just breath. This usually stops the anxious thoughts from spiralling and gives me the chance to deal with the situation and move on; rather than to just ignore all my problems into a state of absolute panic.
I don’t think I’m quite as naive as I was before I left.
I am happy, just in need of a challenge.
With college starting back soon, four of my best friends are going on a year-long Erasmus adventure, one has moved to Scotland for three years to get a nursing degree, (go you, Caoimhe! 💖😉) And lastly, one of my college girls is leaving to join the army. 😮
I hate goodbyes so, as you can imagine, six goodbyes to some of my favourite people has been a little heartbreaking. 💔 *I’m gonna miss you guys so much but I’m endlessly proud of you all! ❤
However, life goes on and as I said, I’m really looking forward to getting back to college and making Third year count!
At the start of second year I wrote a blog post with a few goals for the year. I can’t remember what they were, just things like: keep taking baby steps, get involved with a new club (Whoohoo Drama!) ❤ , things like that. But I remember reading over the blog post on the plane home from America and feeling so happy when I realised that I’d completed them all. I felt so proud of myself for getting to the place I’m in today. It took a lot of work, but I feel like right now life is good! And when things get bad which is inevatible, hopefully they won’t ever be quite as bad as they were before!
People have always been so lovely about my blog. At camp a few people told me that they liked my blog, that they could relate to how I was feeling, that they too have struggled with mental health issues. It came as such a compliment that these people trusted me enough to tell me that they could relate to how I was feeling, which isn’t always easy. I know.
It genuinely makes me so happy that what I write is a small comfort for some people. As selfish as it is, it also reassures me that I’m not on my own either. Sometimes it’s a bit scary writing so publicly about the things that go on in my head; so it’ s such a relief and a lovely feeling when people tell me that they liked reading what I had to say. So thank you, I really, really appreciate it. 💛
As for this college year, my plan is to work hard, keep taking baby steps, start taking bigger steps, stay healthy(ish) and I suppose just to be happy and have fun. And when the thesis starts stressing me out, or the weather has me a bit down, I’ll start planning my summer 2018 adventure.
(So sorry for all the cheese!)
Have a wonderful week everyone.
Kimbo. X 🌹🌻👣🌸🌼