Kindness makes the world go round ๐Ÿ’›

I’ve been quite sick as of late. A couple of days ago I went to my doctor and got told I should be on my way to hospital. I as good as laughed in my doctor’s face and without hesitating told her that it wasn’t happening. She asked why and I informed her I was in final year and could not afford to take the time away from college work. Not unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY- this was a reason I did not deem as absolutely necessary.

The real reason I’m not going anywhere near a hospital? NEEDLES! ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿ’‰

Good luck, not a chance, goodbye.

I will get over this phobia, I promise. Just not right now. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ณ

I am on the mend now thank goodness, but I’ve had a particularly tough two weeks. I’ve had quite a lot going on in my personal life, I’ve been totally overwhelmed and being so ill just intensified everything I was feeling by a hundred.

I really tried hard not to let the sadness and anxiety consume me but my body was wiped out and it’s hard to remain strong mentally when you’re not feeling physically strong and well.

It seems the last two or so weeks have been surrounded by sadness for a lot of people. (As I write this there’s a really fab rainbow that’s just formed outside my window. That’s definitely gotta be a sign that what ever’s going on in life is about to get a whole lot brighter. ๐Ÿ’›)

But yes, the last two weeks have been sad. My head has been fried and I’ve been trying to process information, decisions and actions of my own and others while feeling quite pessimistic and overloaded with college work. Life just hasn’t been going so well.

My head is still spinning but I’m starting to feel both mentally and physically stronger. Hopefully this week will continue to get brighter. ๐ŸŒˆ

I had a totally different plan for this post but someone I know had a very bad day yesterday and there’s a lot of people who are very sad and distressed at the moment. What I was originally going to write about just doesn’t seem so relevant anymore.

Everyone’s under a lot of pressure in college at the moment and it’s 100% getting to us all, never mind having extra stressors to worry about.

The only somewhat comforting factor here is that if everyone’s struggling, feeling sad, anxious, low and dealing with ‘stuff’, whatever that stuff may be, we’re all kind of in it together. Right?

I saw something really inspiring yesterday when a whole bunch of people came together to offer a hand to someone who was in need of support. It just reaffirmed my belief that whatever it is we’re going through, no one is ever really on their own.

Whatever it is going on, it will pass. The hard times always do. Summer is around the corner. Hopefully the sun will come back out at some point very soon and our smiles will return. Remaining positive and staying busy, even if it’s the last thing you or I feel like doing is paramount.

The strength and kindness I witnessed yesterday was refreshing. Lately, I’ve been feeling disheartened by the actions of people, both in my personal life and on a wider scale. Kindness is essentially, in my opinion, what keeps the world turning. There is so much sadness and catastrophe around us presently and the kindness of people is, I reckon what keeps people going. It’s certainly what keeps me going.

The saying ‘everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about’ could not be more relevant. Exam season is upon us. Everyone is under immense pressure and not feeling themselves. But what is going on behind closed doors is not always apparent.

The smallest gestures make the biggest difference! Being kind to people working in the service industry- telling them you hope they have a lovely day and THANKING THEM. Smiling at people as you pass them on the street. Giving constant hugs to the people around you. Making a conscious effort to stay upbeat and positive in a bid to keep your friends spirits up. Complimenting people. Asking those you feel may be struggling if they’re okay.

We’re all in this together and we all have to make it one way or another so why not help each other along rather than tearing each other down?

Bitterness and Jealousy is a sign of personal unhappiness and insecurity. Rather than taking it out on others step back and take a look at yourself. Meanness is not a nice quality and it’s a quality that could, potentially do an irreversible amount of harm to someone who is already struggling. Just be kind.

Last week I was privileged enough to stumble upon and listen to a snippet of a podcast that someone had shared on Facebook. The podcast was by BlindBoy from The RubberBandits and the snippet was about ‘Lad Culture’, the Belfast Trial, misogyny, sexism and Repealing the Eighth Amendment. It was fantastic and articulated perfectly everything that needed to be said on the issue. If you haven’t heard it, PLEASE go listen to it. Guys, gals and non-binary pals, it’s something everyone needs to hear! (The link is on my Facebook.)

So feeling inspired, ill and unable to move from bed, I looked up Blindboy’s podcast and have since been blown away! They are INCREDIBLE! Hilarious, interesting, random and full of important messages that everyone should be exposed to.

I am very much still working my way through all the episodes but in one he talked about the idea of emotional intelligence, a concept I wasn’t very well aware of before his explanation. The idea captured me and I have since spent hours researching how to grow and become more emotionally intelligent.

Put simply, and from my limited understanding emotional intelligence is the idea of being aware of your own emotions, how you physically react to how you emotionally feel and being aware of other people’s true emotions and reactions as well.

I have since had a series of realisations about things that have been bothering me as of late. Things that I wasn’t even aware were really bothering me. I have also become a little more clear about how to handle all the anxieties that I was facing before.

I write and draw an awful lot and I have found myself doing a lot of writing during my recent patch of feeling a bit shitty; trying to process all my thoughts and fears. I’m going to continue with doing that and hopefully things will become increasingly clearer and my head will feel lighter.

Since the Belfast Trial, I have really been consumed by anger and unease. The only comfort I have taken from these events has been the developing women’s movement and the sense of solidarity.

For now, with the amount of college work I have hanging over my head, I guess all I can do is be really vocal about the atrocities going on currently in our society but, as soon as summertime comes I am SO ready to fight!

In the snippet of Blindboy’s podcast he talks about how important it is that good men stand up and start speaking up about sexism. He talks about how locker room ‘banter’, lads just chatting and having ‘a laugh’ with the lads at the expense of women is a culture. A culture of insecurity and fear of rejection and not looking ‘cool’ in front of their mates. He explains that it’s not just a funny private conversation because it has been normalised and it is going on everywhere, all the time.

Men need to join in this fight. We need to fight together to stop the awful cultural shit that is going on right now.

My old school counsellor whom I still catch up with all the time sent me an email the other day with the quote: ย “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke.

Can we all please be kind, gentle, aware of others and how they are feeling (men and women), fight for and be vocal about the issues and inequalities we all face and help each other through.

Lastly, can you all, anyone reading this and anyone remotely interested in the stuff I write about start having the discussion, if you haven’t already, with friends and family about why it is so important to vote on May 25th and why we need to vote yes!

For now, have a lovely week, my friends and I sincerely hope that life starts feeling more achievable and much brighter very, very soon.

Sending lots of love, hugs, encouragement and positive vibes for those who are also struggling right now. We will all get through this patch and summer is just around the corner. โค๏ธโ˜€๏ธย Hang in there.

Smile Always,

Kimbo. X ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ„๐ŸŒผ๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿ‘ฃ๐Ÿ’œ๐ŸŒธ

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I BELIEVE HER! ๐Ÿ’œ

*Trigger warning: Rape, sexual assault.

I believe her.

So, I had this conversation with someone in college the other day and the Belfast Rape trial came up. This case was one that had impacted both of us quite a lot and one we both felt quite emotional and strongly about.

I cried when the verdict came out. I was so upset and disheartened. I understand its personal opinion but I believe the evidence told quite a clear story about what happened that night and although I understand that before convicting anyone of any crime the evidence has to be 100% concrete, I whole heartedly believe those men should have been convicted.

A while back I wrote a blog post on Repeal the Eighth in which I told ‘Mia’s’ story. I watched the hell ‘Mia’ went through over those years post rape. I watched her hiding what happened from her family and closest friends. I watched her fall apart but still carry on with a smile everyday because there was no way she could let anyone in on what happened.

Much Later, I watched her go to the guards and report the issue. Knowing that so much time had passed, ‘Mia’ understood that little was going to be done about the case. But still, she somewhere found this insane courage to report the incident incase her information was the one missing piece. In case there was any chance she could stop this happening to someone else.

I listened to her describe going into the garda station, being intimately interviewed by two male guards and then dropped home and not contacted again. I watched these events affect her all over again, even though she had finally begun to really put the past behind her.

I am so angry and upset for ‘Mia’! I am so angry and upset for all victims of sexual assault. I am so angry and upset for all the women of Ireland.

The men involved in the Belfast trial were never going to be convicted, I believe. No matter how fool-proof the evidence.

That poor woman’s life has been destroyed. It’s going to take so much for her to bounce back from the torture she has been put through. I watched Paddy Jackson’s statement as he came out of the court. His representative said something along the lines of “he just can’t wait to get back on the pitch”, as if that was his biggest concern.

I believe this case publicly told the story of what happens on a daily basis.

Recently I attended an event where I witnessed so many people, both men and women stand up and tell their stories of being sexually assaulted. It was such a powerful experience that I was honoured to be apart of. People have had enough. Even if it takes standing up and talking about the most intimate, personal and terrifying moments of their lives in front of strangers; they are willing to make that sacrifice and to fight for the right to be listened to! To fight for justice. To fight for our safety.

The idea that our country, the country that is supposed to protect and care for its citizens ย avoids convicting rapists and then, if the woman (assuming the victim was a woman) falls pregnant forces her to keep the baby is sickening. I am so angry. I deserve more! The women of Ireland deserve more than that. The men of Ireland deserve more than that. We all deserve a better system in which to live!

I am so, so aware that rapists aren’t all men. That men are victims here too.

I saw the most ignorant post on Facebook recently. It was about all the inequalities men face and how women spend their lives giving out about being oppressed when in fact, men are the “real victims”.

I unfriended the person who posted it.

FEMINISM. Feminism is the belief that both men and women deserve equal rights. This is what we need to fight for. All genders deserve equal rights. WE ARE ALL HUMANS AND WE ARE ALL AS IMPORTANT AND VALID AS EACH OTHER! I cannot understand how this is a competition? “Whooohhooo I win! I’m more subordinated than you!” ?????

I was cat called on the way home from college today and that was absolutely the last straw. I HATE that people feel like it’s okay to degrade me and humiliate me like that. I hate the underlying feeling that I am quietly a second class citizen in my own country. I hate the feeling that If I am ever sexually assaulted I will be treated as a liar until I am, without any questionable proof proven otherwise. And let’s be honest, chances are that won’t happen. ESPECIALLY if the accused is a famous, white male.

None of this is okay.

I’m going to reiterate here that this blog post is entirely my personal opinions. I know that some people will strongly disagree. That’s fine. Just want to make it clear that your opinions are your opinions and just as valid as mine. However, I also want to make it clear that I have no interest in hearing your opinions if you do disagree with me. I am so angry and sad and broken over this. (I have tears in my eyes right now.)

The fact that so many people, men and women will not come forward in seek of any kind of justice after following this case breaks my heart. It should not be embarrassing or shameful to come forward. If I was robbed on the street nobody would second guess me. So why if I am stripped of my dignity, hurt physically and mentally and violated do people immediately question what I was wearing or how much I drank. Whether or not I screamed ‘NO’ loud enough or if I’m even telling the truth at all?

On May 25th please go out and use your voice. Please vote in favour of repealing the Eighth Amendment in our constitution. Please fight for those who need us to fight for them.

Man or woman, please stop tolerating sexism. Please stop allowing others to make unwanted sexual comments/ advancements where possible. It’s demeaning, disgusting, inappropriate and hurtful. IT IS NOT OKAY.

I don’t feel so much like smiling right now. I am angry, upset and broken.

Kimbo. X

๐Ÿ’œ