So this post is going to be a bit more emotional than the last because since the kids arrived at camp emotional is exactly what the time has been. Extreme emotions, both happy and sad. 😂😥😴 Although, I’m not going to write about any of the stories involving the kids. 🙅🏻
Camp is seriously full on. We are basically working from 7:30am when we wake up until 11:30ish pm, when we finally get to go to sleep. With just breakfast off, where we get to eat away from the kids and one rest hour after lunch; It’s exhausting and quite often gets too much. When around the kids which is almost constantly, you’re expected to be happy and patient and fair all of the time. This sometimes is just not possible. But the kids here are the most important ones, not us. We’re just the staff and that gets hard sometimes.
The camp bubble has started to get to me. I sleep talk a lot, all my friends will tell you. But now not only do I sleep talk but I give out to my girls in my sleep. The other night I got out of bed at 3am and started shouting at my girls to be quiet and that it was really late and that they needed to get into bed and go to sleep. They were all fast asleep at the time. I woke 2 of my co-councillors and 3 of my campers up in the process. This has since happened again. I also had a nightmare that we failed cabin cleanup. 💔😥
Camp is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It’s crazy! Like I said, so tiring and so emotional but also so much fun. 🎉🌈
Some of the things I’ve seen and experienced here so far are nothing less than crazy!
Get this, so one of the girls in my bunk goes to school with Britney Spear’s kids.. like what! 😮
Being away from home has been hard. I am super close to my friends and family back home and I am missing them all a lot. Especially Sally! 🐶 💔 There are days when I really struggle to keep up the smile. When I just want to run and sit in a corner by myself and cry while booking myself a plane ticket home. But there are also days where I laugh and smile and dance the whole day through. There are a lot more of the latter of course but the hard days are amplified in a setting like camp and everything just seems 100Xs harder. (IJC – It’s just camp, as they all tell us.)
The extremely challenging environment that is camp also has it’s benefits. I feel like I’m learning a lot about myself, my capabilities, strengths and my mental health here. Every so often I find myself taking a step back and just being amazed that I’m still here and that I’m still smiling (mostly) and that a lot of things that bothered me before camp don’t bother me here at all! While of course, some of my insecurities still get to me everyday, some of them have faded away.
Like I said before, camp is a bubble so maybe when I get back out into the real world I might be a little more conscious than I am presently but some of the steps I have taken here are huge for me!
I hate my toes and my feet. I legit freak out about people seeing my feet without socks on. For the first week or so here I kept my feet 100% hidden at all costs. Today I took the nail varnish off my toe nails and have been in flip-flops/ bare feet for the majority of the day. This sounds so trivial, but for me it’s huge.
Half the time I’m so late waking up in the morning here that during the 5 minutes I have between getting out of bed and leaving the bunk I don’t have time to even check the mirror. This is something I’m not used to at all. At home I require at lease a half an hour to obsess over every one of my perceived flaws before I leave the house.
Also, I’m going to throw in here that I haven’t had a single panic attack since getting here! I almost had one a couple of days ago but I managed to calm myself down in time. That also feels like a massive achievement! 🥂💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
Today was a rough day. It’s a really busy time at camp called college week. I was up until like 3am last night and then up at 7:30am again this morning for another full day of pep and cheer. But I didn’t feel cheerful. I was exhausted and run down. My girls were being difficult and it’s super hard to motivate a bunch of young children when you don’t feel on top of life yourself. I took some time and just cried. I didn’t have wifi so I couldn’t contact home which was all I wanted to do. I began questioning if I could do this anymore.
About an hour later my girls all gathered around me and apologised. That made me feel so much better and helped to put the smile back on my face. 🙂
All the staff have these days and we are all struggling at the minute with the lack of sleep resulting from college week. Everyone today gathered together, gave each other hugs at every opportunity and just pulled one another through. We are all in this together. ❤️ I have known these people for 5 weeks and they already genuinely feel like family. ✨🇺🇸💛
Don’t get me wrong, camp is amazing! It’s a beautiful place with some beautiful people and it’s been such a wonderful experience so far. I’m having the time of my life. The adventures have been incredible and I have no doubt that the memories so far will last forever. I’m looking forward to all the challenges and surprises that the next 4 weeks throw at me. I am ready for it all.
Being so far from home is difficult but I have no intention of giving up. Just a warning though, for any of you back in 🇮🇪 reading this, be prepared for the biggest hug of your lives and unlimited happy tears streaming down my face the next time I see you all. ❤️ Hope everyone’s having a great summer! 🌟 Don’t miss me too much…😉 Also hope you guys, young (over 18 young) and old are all having plenty of 🍻🥂🍷🍹🍸 in Slevs for me! 😂💛
Genuinely love and miss you all endlessly. Keep shining and remember,
Kimbo. X 🌸🍎👒🌈✨🦋🌷🌼